Wednesday, June 16, 2010

In memory of ...

Today marks six years since my maternal grandmother's passing, may she rest in peace.

Following family tradition, I leave this candle on for her soul:

Petra Justina Verdejo Toro,


Descanse en Paz, abuela querida.

Rest in Peace, beloved grandmother.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Kids say the darndest things...

So as I was composing my first blog entry, I decided to sit by my window and take in the breeze. Anyway while sitting there I took in the sights,sounds,smells and general vibe of my block. Pretty normal if I do say so myself, that was until I heard this, "My breath don't smell like doo doo !", lol. Yes people I actually heard that, but don't fret these words were spoken by a child (though I've heard adults say much worse). So you may be asking yourself, whats the big deal ? and frankly you have the right to do just that. But I'm hoping to milk that one phrase and turn it into a blog entry (maybe I need a vacation).

Anyway, this wasn't some at random phrase thrown around for amusement. It was said within the context of a squabble between this child (who I would assume was at around 7 or 8 years of age) and an older playmate/sibling (probably around 12 or 13 years of age). I guess by now, you're asking what is the point I'm trying to make. Well remember when you were at that awkward age when you were to old to play with the little kids, but to young to play with the big kids, well thats exactly what that reminded me of. I know not exactly a ground breaking revelation, but it took me back to a time when I to was at that awkward phase in my life (I'm still there people.)It made me think that perhaps we never grow out of that stage in our lives. How so you ask, well here's how:

So anyway what ensued was a back and forth "argument" between the involved parties. Mind you not a serious argument, but the kind of argument where you try and prove your "street cred". In both cases trying to prove that you can hold your own among the "big boys" and that you're not a "little kid". What is ironic about this whole ordeal is the fact that adults engage in such activity practically every single day.

Take a step back for a moment and review some of your own relationships and ask yourself; how many times have you shunned your association with a certain group for the sake of fitting in within a certain institution, peers etc. ? After having done so, also recall the methods you employed to establish your "street cred" if you will of why you deemed yourself worthy of being counted amongst them. Was it worth it ? and if so why ?

Mind you I am all for growing as a person and sometimes you really do need that push to "burn your bridges" (frankly some people are just downright unhealthy for you), but like my confessor (Yeah I'm Catholic :P) once told me, "You must PURIFY your intentions.". What exactly does that entail ? Well a multitude of things really, but most importantly it entails removing from your path any self serving agendas that cloud your judgement.So if for instance you are angry, because someone you were trying to help didn't listen to YOU, then perhaps YOU are the problem (Yep I'm pointing the finger at YOU (and myself as well).). Why you ask, because in all likelihood you are not doing for the person's benefit, but for the gratification that YOU were able to convince someone of a given position. Plainly put, purifying one's intentions indicates being both HUMBLE and PATIENT. Not everyone learns at the same pace or in the same way. So in the meantime what do you do, YOU (yeah this is the part where YOU come in) offer it up to GOD, and let GOD handle it, YOU however can sit on the sidelines and pray on it. Now while I did say that one should be both humble and patient, this does not negate the fact that it can sometimes be downright frustrating and that anger will eventually settle in (it is human nature after all), but make sure your anger is JUSTIFIED (you know like about important things like abortions, abused children and animals,etc., stuff like that). Even then, bear the burden of your cross with a smile, because you're not alone and in ALL things weigh out the consequences of your actions and NEVER make any rash judgments. Somewhat off topic, but also a point related to the general theme of this entry.

Anyway, say what you will about RENT, but this song rocks my socks:

Rent- Will I Lose My Dignity ?

There I said it.

In such a fast paced world we live in, how much do we consider the dignity of our being, life, souls etc. . How many times just for the sake of conformity and living up to the expectations of others who may not have our best interests at heart, do we give up who we are. Will someone care ? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare ? Will I lose my dignity ? These are the questions our souls ask of us at every turn when we go against who we are. It is good to listen to the voices of others (and sometimes change) when it is the right thing (even though it may be difficult at times), but sometimes we have to rely on our own GOD given voices within to lead our lives and ultimately live with the consequences of those choices. As I previously said, consider EVERY choice you make in your life, you only live ONCE, make sure you lead and live a worthwhile existence.

Yeah I just killed everyone's buzz, sorry folks, :P.

Enjoy the song for what it is on its own merits. Its strange though, the ENTIRE song is made up of questions, but they don't get answered in the song. Perhaps it was the intention of the lyricist for the person listening to the song to arrive at their own conclusions. Then again maybe I am giving them too much credit.

So this one goes out to the kid who said "My breath don't smell like doo doo?", because in some cases he may be right (assuming we do and say the right things), but other times the thing coming out from our mouths (if I may be crass) are doo doo.

So I ask you this (my own personal motto): "Live each and every single day as if it were your last, if and only IF you can live with the consequences of your actions today in the case that there is a tomorrow."

Yeah I know my grammar is atrocious, but this is a blog people, its not meant to be all prim and proper. Its meant to reflect the average speech and conversations we engage in on a daily basis. So look at this as if you were speaking/listening to a friend(a rather long winded one at that,:P) and take it for what it is.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Where do I begin...

I'm not really sure where to begin, which is strange considering I always have an opinion on something (at least those things that pique my interest (and usually don't have a problem voicing myself)), but perhaps it is better this way. In doing so, I avoid the pitfalls of you my readers expecting any one type of entry from me. It also allows me to slowly introduce myself to you my public (whoever you might be, :D (Yeah the smiley creeps me out too.)) and go with the flow.

I guess now is a good time as any to explain the title of my blog and the origin of my web address.

Not sure if anyone is familiar with a group known as "America", but if you aren't, check out their Wiki page:America (Band) (Honestly, someone should look to enter the word "Wiki" into the dictionary as a verb. Who hasn't wiki'd something in this age ?)

Anyway, the title of the blog comes from a verse of a song they composed for the animated movie version of Peter S.Beagle's "The Last Unicorn" (That book is EPIC !!!, I'll write up an entry for it soon enough, :D .). Below you can hear the track (It won't allow me to embed the song):

If you take the time to listen to each verse, you can pretty much understand a lot about me (who knows you might be able to find a bit of yourself in it as well, :D). Especially this portion:

"I'm hungry, weary, but I cannot lay me down
The rain comes,dreary, but there's no shelter I have found
It will be a long time till I find my abode."

You can only imagine how many days I've felt like that. Its one of those songs that I can listen to over and over again without growing tired of it, especially on a stormy day when you're indoors reading a good book (or watching a movie, hehehe).

As to the web address, well I remember having watched "The Namesake" one day and having heard a character quote Joseph Campbell's famed phrase "Follow your Bliss". Rather than say that this was premeditated on my part, I will be honest and say that my own application of the phrase came about quite by accident. I thought for a while, what exactly do I want to communicate to you my audience that is both deep, but not pretentious and I just let my mind take me where it willed. Apparently I am seeking my bliss which pretty aptly sums up a lot of my own introspection and musings. Bliss is defined as such:

bliss [blɪs]
1. perfect happiness; serene joy
2. (Christian Religious Writings / Theology) the ecstatic joy of heaven
[Old English blīths; related to blīthe blithe, Old Saxon blīdsea bliss]
blissless adj

As taken from: Bliss

I think each of us out there seeks that. Bliss is not meant to be viewed as following "whatever makes you happy", but rather actively and contemplatively struggling to find that perfect happiness (and in my case, the latter Theological definition as well). It can thus be said, that true bliss is an act of self discovery a refining of the individual against all life's challenges. We live for bliss (lol, yeah that makes bliss sound like some drug induced state, lol).

Silly me, lol, how could I have possibly made the mistake to not explain the origin of my sig name,lol. It is derived from this particular verse in Exodus

"And Moses said to God: Who am I that I should go to Pharao, and should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" - Exodus 3:11

Aside from St.Moses, The Lawgiver and St.Elijah, The Prophet being two of my most favoured figures of The Old Testament, I constantly find myself asking myself that very question, not only in my relationship with GOD, but with myself and those I love. We live in such a fast paced world, that its easy to lose sight of who we are and constantly have to reinvent ourselves ever nanosecond.

So that is all for now. Join me if you will in all my random musings on life and the like. Hopefully it will be an experience for us all.